


Ronan's Dream

by writerforlife



Series: Dreaming and Drowning [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, dream and reality confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerforlife/pseuds/writerforlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan could be dreaming, or he could not be dreaming. At this point, everything is bleeding together into a reality that he doesn't want to live in.</p><p>Companion piece to "A Breath for a Breath"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ronan's Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I would suggest reading the first work in this series before reading this. Can be read alone, but the ending makes much more sense with the first in mind.  
> Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6288199

Ronan was in Cabeswater, and he was asleep. Dreaming.

He thought he was dreaming, at least. Maybe he was awake. Usually he could tell, but tonight, something was off. 

He stood in the middle of the forest, entirely alone with only the trees for company. 

They towered above him, usually protecting and warm yet menacing and unforgiving tonight. Clouds covered the moon and stars, leaving little light for Ronan to see anything

“Ronan! There you are.” Ronan whipped around to see Gansey walk from the trees, a wide, relieved smile on his face. He wore his usual bright polo shirt and Topsiders. Definitely not dreaming, then.

“I was worried about you. You could have at least sent me a text,” Gansey said, drawing his eyebrows together. “I get worried when you run off without saying anything.”

“That is quite obviously a lie.” Ronan turned back around to see another Gansey step from the trees wearing the exact same clothes. However, this Gansey had the smile he wore when he was using his good manners as a weapon. The easiness with which Gansey wore that condescending look unnerved Ronan. That look was never directed at him no matter what he did. Even when he had crashed the Camaro, Gansey had never shown anger at Ronan. “Do you know how much easier my life would be without you? If I didn’t have to worry about you running off all the time or dreaming up things that could kill me? I would be so much farther than I am right now. You’re a burden, Ronan. But you already know that, don’t you? I do so much for you and all you do is cause me headaches.” 

Was he not dreaming? 

Ronan breathed heavily and turned back around to find the original Gansey, but found another face instead.

Niall Lynch.

“You can’t tell anyone, Ronan. Never, no matter what happens. Nobody can know what you can do,” his father said, moving closer. Blood poured from the side of his head and down into his eyes. Ronan took a step forward. He opened his mouth to talk, but Niall beat him to it. “Let me tell you, Ronan, that friend of yours, his clock is ticking,” He pointed behind Ronan, so he turned back around. 

There were three Ganseys now, all of them wearing the disarming smile that Gansey saved for people like Kavinsky. In an odd act of synchronization, they all reached for their chest and started to pull away the skin. Ronan expected to see blood and gore, but where his heart should be, there was a clock counting down in weeks and days. It seemed to be wired into his body, a solid, fundamental part of his being. The three clocks were spinning rapidly. Ronan shouted before stumbling back.

“The clock keeps on ticking, Ronan!” Niall said calmly. “Not even you can stop what’s going to happen.” Ronan blinked, and all three versions of Gansey were on the ground, dead. Two disappeared, and the only one left was drenched in blood. Ronan rushed forward, but some invisible force stopped him. As he struggled against it, Gansey coughed up and choked on his own blood and shook violently on the dirt ground, trying to call out for help at the same time. “Ronan,” Gansey rasped, a terrible gurgling sound passing his bloody lips. He choked again. “You failed me, Ronan.” He kept gagging, an endless cycle of suffering.

Ronan couldn’t take it anymore. He ran the opposite direction, away from his father, away from Gansey.

“Hello.” Noah appeared in front of him, his eyes resembling a puppy’s and his face as smudgy as ever. Ronan nodded at him and gasped for air.

“Guess what, Ronan?” Noah paused for effect. “This isn’t what I look like.” The air around him grew frigid, like a vacuum had sucked all the warmth from the air and taken happiness and hope with it. Ronan scrambled backwards, suddenly freezing in his black tank top. Noah flickered in and out of existence, and then suddenly, it wasn’t Noah standing in front of him anymore, but a rotting skeleton with bugs crawling over the bones. Most notably, the skull was irreparably damaged, the bones caved in under the eye socket. “This is what I look like,” the corpse said, and Ronan emptied his entire stomach onto the ground beside him.

Was he dreaming?

The thing that was Noah disappeared, and Ronan dropped to his knees.

“That’s right where I want you,” a voice that had the quality of silk and sandpaper mixed into one said. Kavinsky emerged from the shadows, a cigarette hanging from his lips and a smirk playing across his face. His droopy eyes were bright. He moved closer, cupping one hand under Ronan’s chin and tilting it up. “Just stay on your knees now, Lynch. It’ll save you some time later.”

Ronan struggled to his feet and shoved Kavinsky away.

“If you insist,” Kavinsky shrugged, and when Ronan blinked, Kavinsky was mere inches away from him again. Then, he pushed Ronan against a tree and kissed him roughly with no consideration for Ronan’s pleasure. He tasted like alcohol and smoke and gasoline, and he bit at Ronan’s lip, nearly drawing blood. Ronan tried to push him away, but Kavinsky just laughed and dug his fingers into Ronan’s hips hard enough to leave finger-shaped bruises. 

“Do you know why I like you?” he hissed, his breath hot on Ronan’s face. “Because you’re just like me. Without Gansey, do you want to know who you would be?” He laughed again and pressed a kiss to Ronan’s cheek. “Me.”

He wasn’t dreaming. He was sure of this. This was happening. 

“Ronan Lynch!” Kavinsky disappeared, and Declan stood a few feet away from him. Declan thundered towards him, and Ronan tried to stand defiantly. 

“What would Dad say? Do you know how  _ ashamed  _ he would be?” Declan shouted. Ronan didn’t answer. “What would he say if he knew his son was a -”

“Ronan!” At the sound of Matthew’s voice, Ronan shoved Declan aside and rushed to his younger brother. Matthew was kneeling by a sleeping Aurora Lynch, tears in his blue eyes, his golden hair ruffled. “She won’t wake up.”

“That’s because she’s a dream!” Kavinsky shouted, laughter in his voice. Ronan’s heart sunk. He was back. He always came back. 

Matthew looked up at Ronan, disbelieving. Ronan looked away.

“Is she even real, Ronan? I’m a dream, too, aren’t I?” Matthew stood up, crying. “Am I real?” he asked softly. It broke Ronan’s heart in two. He blinked, intending to reply, but before he could, Matthew was on the ground, bleeding from his chest. He, too, was dead. Ronan gave a feral cry and dropped to his knees before his brother, but Matthew disappeared before he could do anything. Declan and Kavinsky were gone, too. He was alone. 

“You’re nothing but an asshole,” a female voice said. Ronan stumbled up to see all five feet of Blue Sargent walk from the trees in the lampshade dress. “Do you really think the others actually like you? Because they don’t.” She approached Ronan and slapped him across the face. “Adam fell in love with  _ me _ . Not you. Why would anybody want you?”

“Now, Blue.” And Adam Parrish walked from the forest, made entirely of strange yet elegant strokes. As always, he looked completely in control and above it all even though his life was complete shit. Blue was gone. It was just him and Adam. Adam walked up to him and kissed him, and unlike with Kavinsky, it felt gentle and kind and loving. He moved his fingers down Ronan’s cheek, lingering over the spot Kavinsky had kissed. Ronan whimpered, clinging to Adam. When he pulled away, he leaned his head into Adam’s chest, and Adam held him tightly.

There was a laugh from behind them. Ronan yanked himself away and turned around to find another version of Adam Parrish, this one elegant in a villainous way. He wore no shirt and only a pair of jeans that hung low on his waist. Ronan gulped. “Now look at what I can do to you,” he said. Everything about him, from his bare chest to his soft, rounded Henrietta accent was weaponized to weaken Ronan. And it was working. This different Adam walked up to Ronan. Ronan didn’t dare reach out, for Adam in any version was unpredictable.

“Look at the power I have over you.” Adam laughed, and it felt very, very wrong. Ronan looked around. He was in an open field, now, and the sound of running water overwhelmed him. 

“Now see here.” Adam pointed to a ledge. “That ledge there, if you jump off of it, you’ll jump into some water, and it’ll all be over. This whole dream will be over.”

Ronan felt a sense of despair. Was he dreaming? Could this be real? He felt like his entire world had been turned upside down. He looked at Adam desperately. 

“I’ll never love you in that way,” Adam hissed. “Now jump.” He disappeared, leaving Ronan alone again. A tear ran down his cheek and he curled himself into a ball on the ground.

“Ronan?” Adam’s voice rang out, full of worry, and Ronan pulled himself from the ground. “Ronan, it's me!” Adam sounded kind, but Ronan knew better, now. He stumbled back. 

“You’re not really here! This is another fucking trick. I have to wake up.” Ronan found his voice. Adam was walking towards him, his hands shaking.  _ His hands aren’t chapped anymore _ , Ronan’s head helpfully supplied. 

“Ronan, just come over here.” Adam held out his hand, but Ronan didn’t buy it. Not this time.

“Don’t think so.” He closed his eyes and fell from the cliff. One way or another, he was ending this nightmare. 

  
  



End file.
